Can I be my own Coach? Has this thought ever crossed your mind? For me, it had. The answer was “Yes” to a great extent. It needs for one to be highly focussed and motivated to coach himself. There are limitations though that I have found on the extent to which I can coach myself.
“I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one could be sure of changing is oneself” – Aldous Huxley
Organizations have long been driven by their Vision and Mission statements which are market /financially driven further driving their strategy. Recognizing importance of cultural change in transformation journey, the focus has now moved to Purpose & Values which are people centric. Strategies and major decisions are driven by the purpose living up to the values of the organization.
Would you be surprised if I say we always coach ourselves without noticing it ourselves? Let me try if I can establish this for you.
We all have beliefs that drive our behaviours. These drive the outcomes / goals that we set for ourselves. There are three types of beliefs that we carry - Conscious, Sub-conscious and the unconscious. These are our strengths as well as limitations.
As we grow, we become aware of our strengths as we reflect on our successes. Also, we understand limitations when we look at our failures. These are our “conscious” beliefs. We generally focus on our strengths to become better / excel at what we do. Human tendency is to feel comfortable / vibrant when the focus is on positive aspects of our behaviours. What we apply here is sub-conscious self-coaching. This also limits the level of your success as you have only utilised your strengths.
To realize your full potential, it is required that we also find ways to overcome our limitations / self-limiting beliefs. This requires identification of underlying reasons that are stopping us, greater motivation, focus & consistent efforts to overcome.
Outlining my own story as an example: I wanted to write articles / blogs since sometime. I couldn’t as I harboured fears about the reactions I would receive or being proven wrong in my understanding of the concepts or lack of clarity etc. These were conscious beliefs that were limiting me from starting what I felt I could do. It took me considerable time to validate these beliefs. Also reflect & accept that it is possible to correct myself only it is proven what I am thinking or believing to be right is actually wrong. I could actually start writing / publishing articles once the realization set in. I could achieve this through consciously coaching myself.
“Progress is impossible without change and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything” – George Bernard Shaw.
Conscious self-coaching can help you to overcome these self-limiting beliefs and there are many tools/ frameworks that one could use for Self-coaching. The steps outlined below helped it work for me:
Gain clarity on what I wanted to do i.e. write /publish articles to share my thoughts / experiences.
Understand the self-limiting beliefs that are stopping me from doing what I wanted to do.
Underlying reasons that are driving those beliefs
What is the worst thing that could happen?
What can I gain from the worst case scenario? – Focus here is on looking at the positive that you could take out of the situation which makes it progressive & forward looking.
How can I consistently continue to overcome this limitation? – Action plan & self – accountability.
You would be mistaken, if you think you would achieve greater success by overcoming the limitations few times. This is possible only when you continue to do it consistently.
For continuing the initial momentum, it is important to create a social accountability factor which could drive your motivation levels. This is where I took help from my valuable support system (Friends & well-wishers), I made a commitment to those that I would write one article per week. Persisting with an activity / effort over a considerable period is essential to make your sub-conscious behaviour / competence.
“Persistence makes all the difference between success and failure. If you keep at it, every obstacle must give in” – Dr Moses Simuyemba
Self-coaching while helpful should be carefully thought through before practicing. You need to be clear on how to make yourself resourceful. Also, always be forward looking and take pushbacks in your stride. Being positive, resilient with strong focus on achieving the purpose that you set out for. Focusing on realizing your potential is the key to ensure you could successfully coach yourself.
Have you coached yourself anytime? What approach did you use? Would love to hear your story.
Need more details or want clarity on how you could coach yourself, feel free to reach out to me.